If you've ventured into the world of online dating (OLD), you're likely aware that one of the biggest challenges is the prevalence of fake profiles and scammers. Sorting through them can be a nightmare and a significant time-waster. Below is a guide to help you identify red flags, stay safer, and know what to do if you encounter a fake or scammer.
Safety Tips and Red Flags
Create a Separate Account for Online Dating
It's highly recommended to create a separate forum account for posting in dating-related communities. This protects your main profile from potential exploitation when interacting with other users or moving to private messaging. Contact a staff member for guidance on setting up a new profile.
Watch for Romance and Financial Scams
Be cautious of obvious red flags, such as:
- Declarations of love within days or weeks
- Claims of financial struggles or requests for help, especially involving gift cards or "fan" cards - these are clear scam attempts
Unusual Language Patterns
Pay attention to language that seems off. Examples include:
- Flowery, overly romantic sentences that sound like they're from a novel
- Odd phrases like "Am Lisa by name" or "I'm seeking for a..." that aren't typical for native English speakers
- Persistent grammar or phrasing errors beyond minor typos
Inconsistent or Delayed Communication
If someone rarely uses full sentences or takes an unusually long time to respond (e.g., 20–30 minutes between messages), they may be a fake profile.
Verify Photos
If someone sends you a photo, verify its authenticity using online tools. Stolen or stock images often appear frequently online. Ask for a clear face photo and use tools like:
- Yandex Image Search
- FaceCheck.ID
- TinEye
A little diligence can reveal if the photo is linked to a fake profile.
Refusal to Stay on the Platform
If someone insists on moving the conversation to apps like Google Chat, Telegram, Kik, WhatsApp, Signal, or even email, they may be phishing for personal information like your email address or phone number. Insist on staying on the original platform. If they claim it's "not secure," they're likely a scammer.
Sense of Urgency
Be wary if someone pushes you to meet quickly, move off-site, or share personal information or photos with a sense of urgency. This is a common tactic used by fakes.
Overly Affectionate Nicknames
For men, if someone immediately calls you "baby" or "dear," it's a strong indicator of a fake profile. (Note: This may vary for women; female members can provide additional insights.)
Avoidance of In-Person or Video Contact
If you're nearing the stage of meeting in person, watch for:
- Excuses to avoid video calls
- Refusal to meet in a public place
- Constant delays or cancellations
No Digital Footprint
Most people have some online presence, such as social media, business profiles, or address listings. If someone has no digital footprint, confront them politely and observe their reaction. Their response can often reveal if they're lying.
Suspicious Job or Background Stories
Be cautious of vague or sketchy job descriptions, such as:
- Claims of being in the "clothing business," "investing," or frequently traveling for business ventures (common among some scammers)
- Saying they're a "caregiver" or between jobs with overly elaborate explanations
Frequent Emergencies or Tragic Stories
Scammers often claim to be dealing with emergencies or tragic events, such as:
- A sudden need for money for "special medication"
- Multiple family deaths or dramatic sob stories (e.g., both parents and relatives dying in accidents) - these stories are often fabricated to manipulate you
Requests for Sensitive Photos
Never send nude photos, especially those including your face, as they can be used for blackmail. Instead:
- Use a generic face photo without identifiable features like tattoos or birthmarks
- If someone pressures you for photos and threatens to release them, never pay a blackmailer - report the incident immediately
Additional Notes
This list is primarily from a male perspective, but female moderators can add insights for women navigating online dating. The online dating world can be intimidating, but with common sense and these precautions, you can improve your chances of safely finding genuine connections.
If you have additional tips or experiences to share, please comment below so we can update this post!
Stay safe out there! 💙
